Takeaways from this article

Love is an Action Word, not just a "feeling”
Secure Attachment is the Love Anchor
Science, (fMRI) neuroimaging shows that Love is "Real"

Love is a Primary Emotional Need on the Hierarchy of Dog Needs

I am compelled to talk about love when it comes to dogs, as so many of us are, because of the unconditional love they give and how that makes us feel. I made Love a permanent element on the Hierarchy of Dog Needs guide as a primary and important Emotional Need. I remember receiving a great deal of backlash in 2015 (launch year) from scientists and academicians as well some trainers, for including Love as a Need. Some thought it quite “unprofessional.” That really stung, but it didn’t deter me one bit!

Yet…I felt more than a bit of trepidation when beginning my “research” on the subject of love and dogs for the Chapter on Love in the Do No Harm Dog Training and Behavior Handbook Featuring the Hierarchy of Dog Needs. I was over-the-moon, wonderfully surprised to find that Dr. John Bradshaw, for example, confirming that, “Love is what scientists call attachment.” And I found a treasure trove of scientific evidence to support it.

We, as pet parents, trainers and behavioral consultants want to provide each need you see on the Hierarchy of Dog Needs, starting with biologically appropriate Proper Nutrition and moving through the Force Free Training Needs behavior modification methods and Consent.

When we express love by meeting needs, so many behaviors that are perceived as “problematic” seem to melt away. Why is that? It’s because our dogs have just been asking us through behavior, to please focus on their real needs, not only our own needs in the relationship. Doing so is what I call loving your dog.

There are some important books and recommended reading with Love in the title— one by the esteemed neurologist Dr. Gregory Berns, How Dogs Love Us, another by another Pat Miller, Know Your Dog Love Your Dog.

Love is an Action Word
It’s not only that we love our dogs as a feeling, or as affection —because almost everyone will tell you that they love their dogs— but additionally, to explore and understand that loving our dogs means we meet our dog’s NEED for our love in ways that enhance their well-being on a daily basis. We need to ‘show up’ for them in practical terms that reach far beyond affection. Affection is not enough.

So, it’s not just about what we feel in our hearts, but how willing we are to learn about our dogs in our heads. And then ask the honest question: How much can we be trusted to “walk the talk” that is, to apply what we have learned about our dogs and their needs to help them be and feel safe and secure?

Demonstrating LOVE to our dogs is much like demonstrating love to a child, that is, providing for their needs, as they cannot fend for themselves and are completely and unconditionally dependent upon us to care for them in every fiber of their being.

The Top Two Things we can pledge to give our dogs are Physical Safety and Emotional Safety. We take on a great responsibility when we commit to another sentient creature who is entirely dependent upon us. It's our job to teach our dogs that the world is a safe place both physically and psychologically—safe inside the home, in their own back yard, in their neighborhood, and at the veterinarian and groomer, and with every person in and outside of the family whose life touches our dog’s life.

1. Physical Safety. Removing any “threats” to physical safety, whether a perceived threat or real threat of physical harm

2. Emotional Safety. Providing a safe and secure environment, free of intentional or neglect-driven distress

Let’s Talk About the Science
The renowned anthrozoologist, Dr. John Bradshaw, tells us that biologists have been reluctant to use the term LOVE to describe the bond between a dog and pet parent, so they typically call it “attachment.”

Scientists in fields from neuroscience to anthropology demonstrate that what we call the experience of “love” is explained by hormonal chemistry and brain chemistry. Oxytocin is actually referred to as the “love hormone”. And that the same systems are activated when dogs interact with us, as between people who are ‘in love’!

Dr. Berns’ research was motivated by the death of his own dog, Newton. Berns was moved to try to understand what dogs are thinking and feeling….and he discovered that the dog brain looks and functions much like the human brain when a dog has a pleasant relationship with “their person”. fMRI neuroimaging studies illustrate it!

So, we now have hard scientific evidence, for the first time, that the same brain region “lights up” in both dog-human bonds and human-human bonds. These data indicate that dogs love us and miss us when we are gone. See the Chapter on Secure Attachment in my book and read more about this science including the scientific evidence with the respective APA citations in my book.

Let’s not forget that the genetic basis for forming bonds with people is well-established in the work on silver foxes by famed researchers, Belyaev, et al., I had the great pleasure of working with adopted Belyaev foxes at the Judith A Basset Canid Education and Conservation Center in Santa Isabelle, CA. You too, can visit the foxes and have photos taken!

In Psychology Today, dog researcher and author, Dr. Marc Bekoff, says, “We do indeed know what and who dogs want and need, and it isn’t rocket science. Dogs (and other animals) want and need to feel loved, safe and secure, want and need to interact and have fun and play with their friends and engage in frenetic “zoomies” when they can” (Bekoff, 2018, para. 3).

Secure Attachment is the “Love Anchor”
YOU are the anchor. You are the person your puppy imprinted upon after being very suddenly removed at a very tender age from your puppy’s mother and siblings. This can be traumatic. You are the anchor to well-being and all of the goodness in the world. You are the person your rescue dog attached to after being relinquished or abandoned by your dog’s previous, primary “persons” and family.

Definition of Imprinting from the field of Zoology“(of a young animal) come to recognize another animal, person, or thing as a parent, or other object of habitual trust.”

Dogs have patterns of attachment similar to an infant’s attachment to a parent (Topal, et al., 1998). This is one reason why I now use the word “pet parent”. Dogs behave like children in various ways, often clinging to us and looking to us when unsure.

It is our responsibility and joy to create a “secure” attachment that can be trusted to “be there”, in good times and in bad. We need to be the secure base—an anchor for our captive dogs. Although the emotionally painful effects of negative experiences and Insecure Attachment to pet parents who cannot be trusted to “be there” may be lessened over time, they are difficult if not impossible to eliminate. A secure attachment means to remain steadfastly loyal. To protect them from harm. To be there when they turn to you.

The Difference Between the Heart and the Head
We want to use our heads to express what’s in our hearts and that involves learning about our dog’s needs: Learning about Needs, learning about Body Language. Discover more about your dog’s needs in my book, The Do No Harm Dog Training and Behavior Handbook, where the first 100 pages are devoted entirely to the needs you’ll find on the Hierarchy of the Dog Needs. The remainder of the book is “problem solving, from aggression to separation anxiety— but it all starts with meeting unmet or undermet needs.

Dogs need love. It behooves us to give it freely, consistently and without reservation and to do no harm psychologically or physically. Be the soft place for your dog to land, the soft place that can be counted upon to show your dog love.

The Science of Love—Love is an Action Word

858.259.9663 • Do No Harm Dog Training